I had gone on a trip recently with my family.. to Kodaikkanal and Thekkadi..
After a gap of many many years, I think after high school.., I rode on a bicycle around the Kodaikkanal lake.
Initially, I had no confidence.. and no cycle balance either.. I literally zig-zagged across the road twice or thrice almost colliding against the compound walls on the sides of the road..
And then, my cousins told me to pedal fast and try cycling faster..
So, I pedalled hard.. the cycle moved forward and I knew I was moving straight.. but as soon as I realized this, my hands began to wobble.. and I stopped.
Encouraged by my good cousins, I tried once more and pedalled madly..
It was around 6 pm or so.. late in the evening.. there was a cool breeze... and the air was cool.
And a slight drizzle to top it.. a scenic view..
The whole world seemed beautiful.. and in my mind there was nothing else, but me on my bicycle..
The joy of cycling.., with the wind on my face.. and a moment that seemed to have no tomorrow..
I felt I was out of my control..., but I felt no apprehension..
Infact, I enjoyed it all the more..
There was no past.. there was no future..
There was nothing.. and no one... but the silent Kodaikkanal lake, the winds... a kind God.. and me, and my bicycle.
It was one moment.. which seemed to extend onto infinity.. a moment which I enjoyed thoroughly.
I remember shouting out at the top of my voice "I loved it.. I loved it!!!".. and I felt I were a child again with my spirits sky high.. and the cup of joy filled to the brim and overflowing.
A simple moment... a timeless moment.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Interesting Ways of Commiting Suicide
This topic hit my head while I was travelling by a Cochin private bus..
At a time, when every fellow passenger soul was praying for their life... and thinking of their loved ones... I was speculating what a different and innovative modus-operandi this could provide for those weak-hearted who intend to "end-it-all"
So here is my list of innovative ways of doing urself in.
1. Take a ride in the cochin private bus. If by any chance, they dont ram you against a rival bus or a tanker lorry.., they will scare you out of your life.
2. For those who dont live in Cochin.. my 2nd suggestion is.. visit cochin and go to sleep with the windows open.. This is the haunt of mosquitoes that make Count Dracula and his regiment of vampires.. seem jovial and well-meaning idlers
3. Go out in the heat of the day.. This is a fuel-less way of setting yourself on fire. Either you evaporate directly into spirit.. or u get burned to the form of charcoal.
I swear I had thought up of one more method on my spiritual journey yesterday in that bus.. when my soul seemed to manifest itself and seemed to run away from me... but I am suffering from chronic amnesia.. after that traumatic bus ride
I welcome suggestions and ideas.. for the same :D
***Please note - this is just a joke.. and I am fully aware that, that which God gives.. only He has the right to take away.
At a time, when every fellow passenger soul was praying for their life... and thinking of their loved ones... I was speculating what a different and innovative modus-operandi this could provide for those weak-hearted who intend to "end-it-all"
So here is my list of innovative ways of doing urself in.
1. Take a ride in the cochin private bus. If by any chance, they dont ram you against a rival bus or a tanker lorry.., they will scare you out of your life.
2. For those who dont live in Cochin.. my 2nd suggestion is.. visit cochin and go to sleep with the windows open.. This is the haunt of mosquitoes that make Count Dracula and his regiment of vampires.. seem jovial and well-meaning idlers
3. Go out in the heat of the day.. This is a fuel-less way of setting yourself on fire. Either you evaporate directly into spirit.. or u get burned to the form of charcoal.
I swear I had thought up of one more method on my spiritual journey yesterday in that bus.. when my soul seemed to manifest itself and seemed to run away from me... but I am suffering from chronic amnesia.. after that traumatic bus ride
I welcome suggestions and ideas.. for the same :D
***Please note - this is just a joke.. and I am fully aware that, that which God gives.. only He has the right to take away.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
The Conflict
Isnt there a difference between being ethical and conventional?
Conventionality is adhering to some norms that has been around for sometime, without really understanding why you do something, and most often without even caring to bother why you are supposed to act and behave in one particular way. Its about going with the flow.., merging into a whole body called society.. and as far as I can understand, conventionality is just a medium towards acceptability and general approbation. Its just a way of not being conspicuous.
Ethics is about the person that you are or the person you want to be. Its about principles that defines the substance of ur being.. ur character.
I believe in ethics. I am a moralist and I am proud to be so. I have my religious views and my faith instills in me a strict sense of morality.. an understanding of right and wrong. From my childhood, I tried to question conventions and even posed questions about my faith to my mother.. and especially where my faith was concerned, if I had a question, somehow the questions were answered in a way that appealed to my sense, my rational, my heart. So the point is, I try not to swallow conventions.. I try not to live blindly. I think and I question.. and I keep asking till I am satisfied by the answer. If there are no answers, then I think that a particular convention is in place for no specific reason..
I desire to be a principled person.... because it is a matter of substance. I desire to be kind, honest, sincere, dedicated, dependable, and so on and so forth.. These qualities tell me what I value in a person or how I evaluate a person. It also tells me where I aim to be, as a person.
The positive side of conventionality, is that it provides you a way to gel in with the crowd.. and to avoid behaving in a way which makes u or people around you uncomfortable.
But, we shouldnt be so determined to stick on to conventional behaviour, so as to undermine the purpose of ones behaviour and give more weightage to approbation of the general society.
Lets take a hypothetical situation. A bachelor wishes to adopt a child.. say a boy. He goes ahead with all the formalities (I have no idea what the legal possibilities for this are.. its just hypothetical example) and adopts a son.. to take care of in a regular way.. From the moral point of view, there is nothing wrong with it. But from the conventional point of view, this could be a problem. There could be a zillion spiced up speculations in the neighbourhood, as to the "real story behind the scene"; scope for very imaginative gossips; a matter of discussion for all.. a general hullaboo to be enjoyed and celebrated by the whole of the neighborhood.. Before the guy realizes it, probably his character is finished. Why? Simply because he chose to think differently and act differently from the way majority of people think and act, he could end up getting crucified. (I am not advocating adoption by single parents.. I understand that especially in today's scenario, there could be a lot of misuse).
The point is.. while living in society and while sticking onto convnetionalities... its not enough to think good and act good. You have to nail it down your neighbour's throat that you are an extremely good individual.
I appreciate the "If i act in such a way, what will he or she feel? Will my actions hurt the person?" thinking. To an extent, I understand the "If I act in this way, what will they think about me?!!!".. To an extent, it is human and inevitable and also maybe even necessary.
But this thinking shouldn't become so prominent so as to make people paranoid.. and prompt them to behave simply for the convenience of other people, and to seek general approbation.
My grandmother had 4 daughters and no sons. During her times, people did not appreciate women going to shops and buying things... They appreciated women and girls who had no sound, no opinions.. who just ran the house smartly and made things comfortable for the men-folk and made no trouble at all.. My grandmother had no sons.. so she assigned tasks to her daughters including grocery shopping.. when these girls went to the grocer and bought things and came back with the change and accounted for every single anna they spent. Grandmother didnt stick to the conventions of the times.. She delegated tasks among her daughters.. encouraged them to study. She made her daughters capable and fit to be independent.. She was not a feminist... but she was just a woman who had a vision about what she wanted her children to be. She laid emphasis on their education to the point of being dictatively ambitious.., where-in she almost charted my mother's career for her.. She gave all support for their education to the point of their graduation. She brought them face to face with the real world.. My mother and aunts can tell the difference between the wood from a mango tree and the one from jackfruit tree..; they are familar with the different medical drugs and steroids and stuff used in medicines..; they have ideas about the parameters used to built house like the exact distance two beams to support the roof and so on.. All this thanks to a woman, who chose to think above conventions. Who was ready to bring her children up in the way that she thought best, and who risked disapproval of her peers..
Where an unprincipled person is concerned, he has no or very relaxed ethics. So if he sticks to conventions, he is just being superficial.. but atleast a conventional unprincipled person makes it easier for his neighbours and friends to pretend and accept him superficially... An unprincipled man can never have true friends, or is never truly trusted and relied upon..
Where a principled individual is concerned, whenever there is a conflict between his ethics and the set norms or conventions of a society, the ethics form the weighty part of the argument. And though, such a person could loose out on general approbation, he will never loose out on the trust, regard, respect of his friends or family, or whosoever who knows him in real.
Conventionality is adhering to some norms that has been around for sometime, without really understanding why you do something, and most often without even caring to bother why you are supposed to act and behave in one particular way. Its about going with the flow.., merging into a whole body called society.. and as far as I can understand, conventionality is just a medium towards acceptability and general approbation. Its just a way of not being conspicuous.
Ethics is about the person that you are or the person you want to be. Its about principles that defines the substance of ur being.. ur character.
I believe in ethics. I am a moralist and I am proud to be so. I have my religious views and my faith instills in me a strict sense of morality.. an understanding of right and wrong. From my childhood, I tried to question conventions and even posed questions about my faith to my mother.. and especially where my faith was concerned, if I had a question, somehow the questions were answered in a way that appealed to my sense, my rational, my heart. So the point is, I try not to swallow conventions.. I try not to live blindly. I think and I question.. and I keep asking till I am satisfied by the answer. If there are no answers, then I think that a particular convention is in place for no specific reason..
I desire to be a principled person.... because it is a matter of substance. I desire to be kind, honest, sincere, dedicated, dependable, and so on and so forth.. These qualities tell me what I value in a person or how I evaluate a person. It also tells me where I aim to be, as a person.
The positive side of conventionality, is that it provides you a way to gel in with the crowd.. and to avoid behaving in a way which makes u or people around you uncomfortable.
But, we shouldnt be so determined to stick on to conventional behaviour, so as to undermine the purpose of ones behaviour and give more weightage to approbation of the general society.
Lets take a hypothetical situation. A bachelor wishes to adopt a child.. say a boy. He goes ahead with all the formalities (I have no idea what the legal possibilities for this are.. its just hypothetical example) and adopts a son.. to take care of in a regular way.. From the moral point of view, there is nothing wrong with it. But from the conventional point of view, this could be a problem. There could be a zillion spiced up speculations in the neighbourhood, as to the "real story behind the scene"; scope for very imaginative gossips; a matter of discussion for all.. a general hullaboo to be enjoyed and celebrated by the whole of the neighborhood.. Before the guy realizes it, probably his character is finished. Why? Simply because he chose to think differently and act differently from the way majority of people think and act, he could end up getting crucified. (I am not advocating adoption by single parents.. I understand that especially in today's scenario, there could be a lot of misuse).
The point is.. while living in society and while sticking onto convnetionalities... its not enough to think good and act good. You have to nail it down your neighbour's throat that you are an extremely good individual.
I appreciate the "If i act in such a way, what will he or she feel? Will my actions hurt the person?" thinking. To an extent, I understand the "If I act in this way, what will they think about me?!!!".. To an extent, it is human and inevitable and also maybe even necessary.
But this thinking shouldn't become so prominent so as to make people paranoid.. and prompt them to behave simply for the convenience of other people, and to seek general approbation.
My grandmother had 4 daughters and no sons. During her times, people did not appreciate women going to shops and buying things... They appreciated women and girls who had no sound, no opinions.. who just ran the house smartly and made things comfortable for the men-folk and made no trouble at all.. My grandmother had no sons.. so she assigned tasks to her daughters including grocery shopping.. when these girls went to the grocer and bought things and came back with the change and accounted for every single anna they spent. Grandmother didnt stick to the conventions of the times.. She delegated tasks among her daughters.. encouraged them to study. She made her daughters capable and fit to be independent.. She was not a feminist... but she was just a woman who had a vision about what she wanted her children to be. She laid emphasis on their education to the point of being dictatively ambitious.., where-in she almost charted my mother's career for her.. She gave all support for their education to the point of their graduation. She brought them face to face with the real world.. My mother and aunts can tell the difference between the wood from a mango tree and the one from jackfruit tree..; they are familar with the different medical drugs and steroids and stuff used in medicines..; they have ideas about the parameters used to built house like the exact distance two beams to support the roof and so on.. All this thanks to a woman, who chose to think above conventions. Who was ready to bring her children up in the way that she thought best, and who risked disapproval of her peers..
Where an unprincipled person is concerned, he has no or very relaxed ethics. So if he sticks to conventions, he is just being superficial.. but atleast a conventional unprincipled person makes it easier for his neighbours and friends to pretend and accept him superficially... An unprincipled man can never have true friends, or is never truly trusted and relied upon..
Where a principled individual is concerned, whenever there is a conflict between his ethics and the set norms or conventions of a society, the ethics form the weighty part of the argument. And though, such a person could loose out on general approbation, he will never loose out on the trust, regard, respect of his friends or family, or whosoever who knows him in real.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Strength and Sensibility
Life has made me stronger and bolder.
Often, I used to get tensed for the smallest of things.. I still do.
There is a difference b/w being confident and claiming to be confident... which becomes apparent by the turmoil that goes on in ur mind, just a few seconds b4 ur scheduled interview..
Earlier, I used to try to calm myself by deep breathing and maybe distracting my mind and thinking of some good, positive memories..
Recently, while I was waiting in the lobby for an interview.. I became tensed.
Its been quite a while since I had been to an office, with the familiar chilled air, so much in contrast to the outside burning sun..
The white gleaming tiles that reflect the light..
The security guards with the polite smiles..
Its been quite sometime.
I began to feel the tightening claws of my old friend Tension.
Then, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I am a survivor..
I have faced worse things in life than just an interview that went wrong.. and I have survived it all..
I knew that at the worse, if the interview that I was about to attend, went wrong.. it wont finish me.
Nothing can finish me, as long as I intend to learn from it...
Whatever negative experiences I go through, even negative interviews.. could only benefit me, if I am determined to learn from it and make sure that I dont repeat the same mistakes.
At the end, it is only stagnation of mind and spirit that can destroy an individual.
And yes, I did calm down and I did get through. All thanks to God.
Often, I used to get tensed for the smallest of things.. I still do.
There is a difference b/w being confident and claiming to be confident... which becomes apparent by the turmoil that goes on in ur mind, just a few seconds b4 ur scheduled interview..
Earlier, I used to try to calm myself by deep breathing and maybe distracting my mind and thinking of some good, positive memories..
Recently, while I was waiting in the lobby for an interview.. I became tensed.
Its been quite a while since I had been to an office, with the familiar chilled air, so much in contrast to the outside burning sun..
The white gleaming tiles that reflect the light..
The security guards with the polite smiles..
Its been quite sometime.
I began to feel the tightening claws of my old friend Tension.
Then, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I am a survivor..
I have faced worse things in life than just an interview that went wrong.. and I have survived it all..
I knew that at the worse, if the interview that I was about to attend, went wrong.. it wont finish me.
Nothing can finish me, as long as I intend to learn from it...
Whatever negative experiences I go through, even negative interviews.. could only benefit me, if I am determined to learn from it and make sure that I dont repeat the same mistakes.
At the end, it is only stagnation of mind and spirit that can destroy an individual.
And yes, I did calm down and I did get through. All thanks to God.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Not a trace left..
Satyam Computer Services Limited.. when I joined this company years back as a fresher.. there was pride in my heart..
Hopes... wonder... Sense of security... sense of belonging
I remember the induction program.. the huge conference hall with those comfortable leather backed chairs and microphones before you..
For a person fresh out of college.., in the initial phases of "College-to-Corporate" transition, it gave a silent message of power, comfort and responsibility..
It filled me with awe..
We had a presentation on a huge screen, a presentation that talked about its fortune 500 clients, Satyam's ODCS and campus and its global offices.. the facilities.
The organizational structure.. hierarchies.
Awards and recognitions...
It was a brilliant day.. that day, dreams glittered like stars in everyone's eyes..
Such a contrast to the fear that I know must be in the hearts of everyone associated with it today, some way or the other..
Lots of my friends and colleagues are still with them, dedicated and hard working..
I really hope things work out for them.. in the end.
But still, the good will and the brand name.. seems to have sunk without a trace...
And it dint take a decade for this to happen.. but just 2 or 3 years.
Unbelievable!
Likewise..
So many things.. that I thought wud last me a lifetime
So many things, which I depended on..
So many things, which defined my world..
Some friendships, lots of moments, so many notions... so many many things sank without a trace.
Not a trace..
Sometimes life leaves u bewildered... and afraid of what's in store for you tomorrow.
Hmm.. as the saying goes, lets cross the bridge when we come to it. :-)
Hopes... wonder... Sense of security... sense of belonging
I remember the induction program.. the huge conference hall with those comfortable leather backed chairs and microphones before you..
For a person fresh out of college.., in the initial phases of "College-to-Corporate" transition, it gave a silent message of power, comfort and responsibility..
It filled me with awe..
We had a presentation on a huge screen, a presentation that talked about its fortune 500 clients, Satyam's ODCS and campus and its global offices.. the facilities.
The organizational structure.. hierarchies.
Awards and recognitions...
It was a brilliant day.. that day, dreams glittered like stars in everyone's eyes..
Such a contrast to the fear that I know must be in the hearts of everyone associated with it today, some way or the other..
Lots of my friends and colleagues are still with them, dedicated and hard working..
I really hope things work out for them.. in the end.
But still, the good will and the brand name.. seems to have sunk without a trace...
And it dint take a decade for this to happen.. but just 2 or 3 years.
Unbelievable!
Likewise..
So many things.. that I thought wud last me a lifetime
So many things, which I depended on..
So many things, which defined my world..
Some friendships, lots of moments, so many notions... so many many things sank without a trace.
Not a trace..
Sometimes life leaves u bewildered... and afraid of what's in store for you tomorrow.
Hmm.. as the saying goes, lets cross the bridge when we come to it. :-)
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