Purged

Pathu watched Kugnan graze...
Tenderly she stroked Kugnan's bony forehead and gave it yet another hug, as if she could never hold onto him enough... and Kugnan nudged her away..
"Hey.. let me get on with the food" he seemed to say.

She knew there wouldnt be time to play today.
And whatever time was there, she wanted him to spend it happily frisking about and grazing in peace.

After a while, mother came to call her away..and she followed her without another glance at him.
Why did she keep doing this?
These lambs were always brought to be ultimately sold or butchered... and yet, she would forget foolishly and channel all her time and thought to play with them, feed them, protect them, nurture them, love them fiercely as only a child can, get used to them.  This was violence on her little heart, havoc in her mind... Was it to atone for the betrayal? For she sensed their trust and its powerful claim on her, even when she couldnt name it.

She was walking over to Maymoona's home... because it was farthest away from hers.
To escape the empty spot by the paala tree in her backyard.
She felt she could walk till the end of time.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she swallowed the hard lump down her throat.
Kugnan's tiny hoof prints were being singed into her alive red blood heart, already mauled by
countless small and big cuts and scars, foot prints and a smatter of tiny almost invisible hoof prints.

Alive, I am set aflame.... 
And purged, am I.